Recently I've been going out more - I have free time, new friends and a willingness to have fun, so why not? I went to a couple of clubs, had a good time and was hit on by a couple of guys. Now, when I'm at a bar or a club, I'm prepared for this, I don't really mind - I mean, people often go out to bars and try to hook up with people, it can be part of the fun, half the patrons, male and female, are flirty and so a few attempts to be chatted up are to be expected. Time and a place etc. Usually (in my experience), if you make it clear you aren't interested, it's cool and you get left alone - you may even make a few friends.
However, when I'm nowhere near the bar, I DON'T APPRECIATE THE ATTENTION. I don't enjoy having strange men whisper things in my ear as I walk down the street to post a letter. I don't like groups of men eyeing me up on the Underground. WOLF-WHISTLES AREN'T WELCOME. This never used to happen to me, I used to go out and just be another person on the street, then all of a sudden I turn 18 and it's like I broadcast a signal saying 'Harass me! I have a vagina!' Why don't these men understand how threatened you can feel when a strange person who looks like they could knock you over with a flick of their finger starts leering at you? How it makes you HATE being who you are, if only for a few moments, because it feels like YOU brought this attention on yourself? I'm not doing anything differently. I'm not even looking at these people half the time until they draw my attention with their idiotic comments. But suddenly, I'm all too aware of myself. Of my gender. Of my physical weaknesses. I hate it, and wish people would leave me alone. I'm not ready to go back inside yet.
5 days ago
Argh! I hate that!
ReplyDeleteI don't get wolfwhistles, etc, very often though, but when I do, it pisses me right off.
I think, however, I get more creeped out by the actual silent leering from cars from old men with red faces...it's just so disgusting. However, if someone honks at me or something, I've taken to giving 'em the middle finger and screaming something like "FUCK YOU!" or "CHAUVINIST PIG!" at them. There are times, though, when I've got my iPod on, and only hear the beep once they've driven off, so I don't have time to rant.
The worst time, though, was when I was waiting at a bus stop with my mate, and these men in a van went past and honked and stuff, so I called out something like "CHAUVINISTS!" at them, and then two mins later, they were going past us again...that was a bit creepy.
Or, maybe the worst time was when I was walking alone down quite a busy road where there was a queue, and these men in a van were leering and stuff, and I gave them the trusty finger, but it just made them worse, and even when I'd passed, they were still honking and stuff. Unnerving.
And of course, we should have every single damn right to walk out and about without being treated as sex objects, or feeling compromised or anything. GRR!
Tcupnewt-
ReplyDeleteJust today I was having a few drinks with a friend and we got stopped by this low-life he knew. The guy desperately tried to ascertain whether I was on the market or not- without ever addressing me directly- and I answered back over top with biting sarcasm. Then, in a last ditch attempt when I started walking away, he said "I'm hung like a donkey."
I'll let you ponder that for a second.
It's not happened to me in absolutely ages, then just last week it did.
ReplyDeleteWooooot-woooo.
(Well, thats my typed version of a wolf whistle anyway...)
It was by someone who I vaguely know, which didn't make it any better.
Grrrrh.
I wish there were consequences for men harrassing women in the street.
ReplyDeleteOh, Mwezzi, I've tagged you with the 8 random facts/habit meme after lurking on your blog since December :)
"Why don't these men understand how threatened you can feel when a strange person who looks like they could knock you over with a flick of their finger starts leering at you? How it makes you HATE being who you are, if only for a few moments, because it feels like YOU brought this attention on yourself? "
ReplyDeleteThey do understand how they're threatening you and they do know how uncomfortable it makes you to be in your own skin.
That's why they do it.
Street harassment is something every woman faces.
ReplyDeleteBefore I discovered feminism I would always feel humiliated and start questioning myself if a bloke ever wolf-whistled or told me to smile. Now I know it's them with the problem and don't hesitate in telling 'em to fuck off.
Question:
ReplyDeleteIs smiling at a girl you're interested in on the street threatening/harrasment etc?