Be as cynical as you like, but I'd like to savour this moment.

A friend of mine, after hearing US President Obama's inauguration speech, commented that it was fantastic, encouraging, exciting - yet he couldn't help but be reminded of a similar great speech delivered back in 1997 by the the victorious new Labour leader, Tony Blair, who had come to save us from the horrors of the Conservatives and bring Britain into a new age of equality, health and happiness for all. Over a decade, several eroded liberties and a couple of unjust wars later, we look back on that moment and mourn. Although, that said, the introduction of the national minimum wage was a fantastic idea for which we are all grateful. It would just be so much better if our shiny amazing New Labour hadn't turned out to be 'like the Tories, but just slightly more towards the centre'.

Yes, we're a jaded and bitter lot here in Britain. Whilst Washington D.C. was swamped by millions of excited Americans chanting "YES WE CAN!", a good number of the Brits watched on reservedly and thought "... but will you?" Some noted that Obama was treated as a hero before he had done a single thing as President. Others noted dubious donations, having seen so many politicians over here engaging in underhand financial activities. Others (all white, I noticed) got frustrated at constant references to his race: "Just because his skin's dark doesn't mean he'll be any better than the white prat he beat!" (We can't even enjoy a great historic moment anymore without griping, it seems.) Still more suggested that, considering his predecessor, it won't take much for Obama to be 'better', and we should reserve our celebrations for the time that he proves himself to be more than just 'not Bush'.
Yet so far, our pessimism appears misplaced. The proposals set down on the White House's website are inspiring. The promises for transparency are encouraging. Suspending all activity is Guantanamo Bay? OH HELL, YES! The new President, whilst not perfect (not a few have noticed his opposition to gay marriage), he still seems to be more than a small improvement on the Republican administration.
Of course, it's not unknown for the new guy in the Oval Office to make big changes to mark his entry, only to dumb down or reverse things later. But for once, in spite of those who surround me, I for one would like to look forward with a little more hope. This involves attacking my inner cynic with a minigun, which will at least stun it temporarily. The Presidency in the USA often sets the tone for our Government over here. Bush helped take the world to hell, and we watched in growing disbelief as our own leaders started to imitate him. If Obama can live up to his promises, it may just put a little pressure on those in Westminster to stop messing about and treat us ordinary people like we matter too (well, one can dream, at any rate). The whole world is watching and taking note. This is big.

Besides, I have assessments to worry about without stressing over someone else's new leader. Smile, everyone!

Diary of a Hairy Young Lady, Day 1.

Y'know what I'm sick of? Tabloids and gossip spreads going out of their way to find famous women with the slightest hint of body hair just so they can loudly denounce them for daring to ditch the razor for a day or two.
You know what pisses me off even more?
This. This shoddy, stupid, pathetic excuse for journalism which tells everyone that, not only is hair on a woman's body DISGUSTING, it's also UNHYGIENIC and DIRTY and makes you HIDEOUS. It's all true because a woman grew a little bit of pit-hair and, surprise surprise, some men were repulsed because they've been raised in a culture which shames women for daring to put even a toe over the line of conventional beauty rules, and have been trained to see such women as sub-human.
FUCK YOU, The Sun. TO HELL WITH ANY STUPID BEAUTY ARTICLE OR WOMAN'S MAG WHICH DARES TO TELL ANYONE THAT THEIR NATURAL HEALTHY BODIES ARE VILE. It shouldn't matter if you do or do not shave your pits and legs. Really, whatever you prefer. Cool, fine, awesome. What I want is for those who prefer less hair to stop picking on those who see nothing wrong with a fuzzy woman. That's all. Live and let live.

Of course, I can't just leave things at that, so here: my own little diary of hair-growth! Now, I'll admit, I'm cheating - my armpits haven't been shaved for a wee while, so I'm not starting from point zero here. This is what I look like after 2am on Day 1, having just decided to do this:


Those of a fashion-sensitive disposition may be shocked to realise that this unspeakably noticeable amount of underarm fuzz is NOT due to a momentary slip in a usually impeccable grooming regime, or due to a lack of razors - I usually shave under my arms about once a month, so my armpits are normally like this for about two and a half weeks out of every four. They don't get covered up unless I'm cold. They get flashed about, willy-nilly, all over the place. But just for you lovely people, I'm gonna let these babies grow free for a bit longer, and if I'm treated like mud then I'll be sure to tell you. But I can promise you this - such moments of unpleasantness are actually quite rare. Thing is, lots of men and women can actually accept that hair happens, and treat a girl like a human being even if she doesn't have the same standards as Zoe-from-the-Sun says she normally has. I think it's about time that people hear the story from someone who doesn't see womanly stubble in the same light as, say, cat vomit in one's slippers. It's just a normal aspect of most people's bodies, like fingernails and skin. Please, if any of you ladies have any stories, good or bad, about your own bodily hair then feel free to share them! Let's get some feminist voices out here.
So, my status on this first day - about half a centimetre's growth of dark hair, dark circles under eyes from lack of sleep, dark clouds swarming round my pissed-off lady-brain. See you soon with an update!

Unsurprisingly, 'more feminine' = more acceptable in law firm.

I keep telling myself not to, but time and again I find myself drawn back to the dull, dismal drivel in Femail that I, as a carrier of two X chromosomes, am supposed to be naturally interested in. It's almost as is I WANT to get irritated.

Women working at top law firm Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer have been told that, in order to to achieve the 'correct' professional look, they must 'embrace their femininity'. This means two things: skirts (well, okay...) and high heels (sigh). Never mind that these shoes are, at best, uncomfortable and at worst extremely bad for your feet, ankles and back. No, no, apparently forcing one's feet into an extremely unnatural position makes you stand BETTER. If you are a woman, that is.

Freshfields says it has been offering the image course to staff for some time.

'It's basically a session on how to project a professional image within the workplace,' said a spokesman.

'It's advice rather than a list of do's and don'ts.

Around 90 employees attended the makeover session in recent months as part of an induction programme for trainees.

One image consultant who used to be a lawyer explained why women might have been given advice to wear heels.

Lucinda Slater, founder of Best Foot Forward, said: 'It helps them stand better and gives them height.'

Oh, advice, is it? I'm willing to bet that having an official sounding personal tell them to wear them will make more women fell pressured to choose shoes they find uncomfortable when they'd rather wear flats, but maybe I'm just a cynic. I mean, heavens, I KNOW how uncomfortable heels can be because I choose to wear them occasionally on nights out too. I do rather like being tall, and they look quite good. But from TWO NIGHTS of wearing them, here are my list of complaints:

Blisters
Rough skin
Sore toes
Pain along my right big toe and up its related metatarsal bone
Broken toenails (they were cut short, but having my full body weight pushing down on the very ends of my feet causes the toes to swell and any extra crushing can then crack the nail)

The sore metatarsal was a sign to go back to my just-as-nice and far-more-comfortable Docs until all damage has been rectified.
It's one thing to occasionally wear such shoes, we all know they hurt but lots of us also rather like them, but we decide when to stop and go flat-footed again. When an employer either actively encourages or even flatly tells the women it employs to wear these shoes every day that they come into work, I call bullshit. That's DAMAGING, and the more successive days that heels are worn, the more damage they inflict and they more likely it is for such damage to become permanent. Furthermore, they look no more professional than a good pair of well-crafted flat smart shoes, and we should be able to take a female lawyer, a very smart, well educated woman, seriously without making her teeter about on stilts and dress all pretty and 'feminine' for us, especially if this isn't a choice she'd otherwise make. Some women like skirts and heels, others prefers trousers and flats. Let's stop treating one as somehow 'better' (which is what they mean by 'more professional') than the other.

Remove the Gag - sign the petition.

The Global Gag Rule, implemented in 2001 when US President George W. Bush came into power, denies US funding to overseas health centres if they offer or even mention abortion, even if it's legal in that country. This means that they must stay quiet if asked, they cannot even provide basic information, and if a clinic receives funding and doesn't offer terminations but has a related clinic which does (even if that doesn't get any US money), that centre will no longer receive any money either. These centres aren't just abortion clinics, they offer basic health care, advice, family planning, maternity services. So when these clinics are forced to close due to lack of funds, entire communities are denied the basic services that they have a right to receive. Mothers are more at risk during pregnancy and childbirth. Couples receive no information on contraceptives and safe sex, leaving them more likely to contract STIs or end up with an unwanted pregnancy which, y'know, they may wish to terminate, thus driving more women to the back streets as they have no support or safer alternatives. These clinics also offer vaccinations and medicines, such as anti-malarials. Thus, the GGR has left millions of people sick and dying because of the American Religious Right's closed-minded moralistic selfishness.

There's now a petition to the President-elect, asking him to remove the GGR upon his inauguration. Sign it here.



Story via Feministing.

New President - New Chances for Women?

The Obama team have launched a new website, Change.gov, outlining their proposals and offering the American people a chance to have their say. Excellent! My inner sceptic is reminded of the UK version, allowing us to send online petitions to the government, which rarely seems to make much impact, but here's hoping that it's more than just an empty popularity-generator. Certainly there's a lot of positive stuff in there!

Naturally, I went straight over to the 'Women' section of the agenda, and it makes me smile. Headings such as 'Empowering women to prevent HIV/AIDS', 'Fixing the nation's healthcare system' and 'Supporting stem cell research' jump out - and for all the pro-choicers out there, here's the reproductive rights section:

REPRODUCTIVE CHOICE

Supports a Woman's Right to Choose:

Barack Obama understands that abortion is a divisive issue, and respects those who disagree with him. However, he has been a consistent champion of reproductive choice and will make preserving women's rights under Roe v. Wade a priority as President. He opposes any constitutional amendment to overturn the Supreme Court's decision in that case.

Preventing Unintended Pregnancy:

Barack Obama is an original co-sponsor of legislation to expand access to contraception, health information and preventive services to help reduce unintended pregnancies. Introduced in January 2007, the Prevention First Act will increase funding for family planning and comprehensive sex education that teaches both abstinence and safe sex methods. The Act will also end insurance discrimination against contraception, improve awareness about emergency contraception, and provide compassionate assistance to rape victims.

Oh my. Along with the recent pro-choice voting going on over the pond, this new load of sensible speak is a breath of fresh air after all the 'Zygotes=fully-formed cute babies in miniature' rhetoric. See, if all this comes true, the USA may have a chance of shaking off the unfortunate 'idiotic bigot-rich power-crazed backwater' image that it's been building up under Bush. I can't find anything on LGBT rights though, which brings back my reservations. Considering the recent successes of motions like Prop 8, what's in store when Obama is finally the president? Hopefully it'll be positive too, but there's no mention. More progressive action, please!

Election night in another country!

But it could affect us over here and it WILL affect other countries threatened by war and relying on US aid, so damn straight I'm getting excited! Here's a little vintage humour. This is, incidentally, exactly how us Brits see politics.

I always imagine Ron Paul as Kevin Philips Bong.

I recall someone describing the difference in attitudes to political matters between the UK and USA. In Britain the situation is hopeless, but never serious, whilst in America the situation is serious, but never hopeless. And that's why we have a lot of satirical programmes such as Yes, Minister and across the pond they have drama like the West Wing.

Quick Hit - Dismissive Doctors

Over at Ramblings of Today's Yoof we have a trio of posts about doctors being dismissive because of gender, i.e. treating men with dignity and women as hypochondriacs when both present with the same symptoms. All three bloggers have had negative experiences which we think were influenced by our sex - alongside my suspicions that the GP was brushing me off, there's Becca's history of being told her problems are psychosomatic and being prescribed ineffective treatments as she sat crying in front of the doctor and, disturbingly, Curly Sue's visit to hospital where her life was put on the line as the doctors wrote off symptoms of a ruptured appendix as 'minor issues' such as constipation or 'bad period pains'; meanwhile, a young man with the same symptoms got surgery quickly.
Check them out, and please, if you have had similar experiences of your own, feel free to tell your own stories.

Feeling Spooky!

I'm not 100% healthy, but I'm rested and ready for some scary shenanigans. So, to everyone who's been sending me well wishes, I thankyou very much, and to all, I wish you a VERY happy, safe and fun Hallowe'en, hopefully free of sexism and racism.

I'm not the type to dress as 'Sexy ____' for anything, but on Hallowe'en I can take a 'sexy nurse' outfit and twist it to my own needs:

An Apology

I'm sorry I've not been posting recently. I've not been well.
I started studying medicine at the end of last month and, a few weeks in, I started feeling really tired all the time. Not just a bit stressed, a little worn out due to the sudden onset of work where before there had been none - more a complete lack of energy, and inability to concentrate, a struggle to stay awake whenever I sat down for even a moment, hours spent staring into space, mind blank. No matter how well I slept each night I'd wake up feeling like I was crushed under a sack of rocks, then I'd carry those rocks around until my classes ended, at which point I'd go straight home and into bed because there was no way I'd be able to concentrate on the books full of jargon that all medical students must peruse on a regular basis, let alone carry on with all the other things I loved like my hobbies, working with the Glasgow Feminist Network (who are back after a summer break! Hopefully I'll be actively involved with them again soon) and, of course, posting to this blog.
This all reached a head a few days ago when, trying to study the immune system within the context of transplants and being unable to absorb any information no matter how hard I tried, I just broke down and sobbed. A bit alarming for me, considering I've never cried outwith the context of death, extreme pain or heartbreak.
Anyway, it's finally pushed me to go and see a doctor. Last time I visited the GP he put me off the place entirely so I've arranged to see a new one in a different practise. Hopefully they'll be able to help me out there. In the meantime, I'll do my best to think of something interesting to say upon my return.

Oh! Another thing! I'll also be co-blogging with Becca at Ramblings of Today's Yoof! I'll be doing my normal feminist ranting but also hope to go into other things that interest me, such as health, society, science and silly little things that get me through the day. Becca's already kicking off with some interesting articles that she's found, so do go over and have a look.

Thankyou, Feminism.

Feministing has the 'Friday Feminist Fuck You/Yeah' now, where they either vent their anger about a particular anti-woman person or group or praise someone who has helped the cause. In a sense, this is a bit like that. I'm saying thankyou, on a Friday... but not to any one person, not to an organisation. I would like to thank Feminism.

"What for?", you may well ask. "There are lots of positive things that can be attributed to the feminist fight, are you grateful for ALL of them?" Well, yes... but today, there's one particular reason at the forefront of my mind.

My virginity.

To those of you who find this strange, sit tight, let me explain. I know there has been a lot of inaccurate criticism of feminism in this area. The suggestion that telling girls that sex isn't sinful and need not be marriage-linked will turn them all into raging sex-addicts who have 15 pregnancies and 9 STDs and 100 partners under their belt by the time they reach the grand old age of 13 has been flung around a lot recently; I've lost track of the number of times I've read about the spread of abstinence-only education, or seen yet another book being published about how wonderful it is to be a virgin because having sex will RUIN YOU, or scrolled through another thread full of people expressing the view that a girl's sexuality is the property of first her father then her husband (REMEMBER THAT LESBIANS ARE SINFUL), and how all of these things are seen as good and the only way to have a healthy sexual attitude.

This, my friends, is rubbish.

I am 19. I have had 3 boyfriends, in relationships ranging from 6 months to 2.5 years. I also have vaginismus, a fact I have known about but initially could neither name nor understand since I hit puberty. There have been several situations where I could have been pressured* into penetrative sex, where I could have ignored the fact that I knew I could get hurt because 'losing your virginity is supposed to be painful'. Where I could have been pressured into a whole range of things before I was ready. Currently I am on the path to overcoming my condition (yay all-month swimming!) but am still refraining from The Big Sinful Act That Will Make Me Worthless And Un-Marriable through choice - I don't feel that I'm ready yet. I'm perfectly fine with this decision, I'm happy with my choice, and my current partner is fully supportive of it.

To whom do I owe my ability to say no and not feel guilty about it? What helped me stay a virgin until I'm ready?

The people who define sex as a sin?
The idea that sex must be saved for the man I marry?
Being fed scary misinformation, such as 'condoms don't work at all'?
Modesty, trying never to excite a man's sexual desires by covering up everything below the neck?
Purity pledges?
A big ceremony where I tell daddy that I will never have sex before marriage?
Never being told about sex?

No.

I had a flawed but still comprehensive sex education at school. I filled in the gaps with information from sites like Scarleteen and from groups like the Sandyford Initiative, and was so impressed by these people that I too hope to be able to help others in the realm of sexual health in the future. Religion played no part in my upbringing, and my parents were always honest whenever I had questions to ask. I knew that condoms have a high success rate when used correctly and can protect against a range of STDs. I have no dreams of marriage, and don't want to turn my sexuality into a bartering chip. I HAVE WORN SKIRTS ABOVE THE KNEE! I also think that purity pledges do nothing, and statistics have reinforced my opinion that abstinence-only sex-ed doesn't work at all - and can be harmful.

What I do have to thank:
Being told that my body is my own, as is my sexuality.
Being told that it's okay to say no.
Being told that no-one has the right to force me into anything.
Being told that, whilst sex can be a good thing, it should only happen when both me and my partner are ready, and it is not a bad thing to ask someone to wait if they are but you're not.
Being told that there is nothing shameful about my body - allowing me to seek help and find out about my vaginismus instead of hoping it'll go away and never understanding it.

All these things - bodily freedom, integrity and autonomy, openness about female anatomy, the belief that women are worth something and can make the right decisions for themselves when given all the relevant information (as opposed to being told what is and isn't right or blatantly mislead) - these are all championed by feminists everywhere, every day. I know more about myself through talking to other women in a frank and open way than I would from being told not to touch that thing there, it's bad. I have been able to help myself. I have been able to make a choice and have the courage to stick by it, because I know there's nothing wrong with abstaining - but I also know there's nothing wrong with not being a virgin, either.
As a bonus, thanks to all those progressive types out there who don't demonise normal human behaviour, I also know a good deal about safe sex. When I'm ready, I'll be ready.

So, thank you Feminism, and all forward-thinking groups, for allowing me to be happy with my hymen. And to all those who still think that feminism forces girls to sleep with everything with a pulse - don't let the door hit you on the way out.


*they never intentionally tried to force me into anything, but due to a combination of misguided thinking and a few other things the problem still arose. I'm on good terms with my exes, they ain't bad guys - if anything, they've learned what is and isn't acceptable now. Had I been unable to express myself, however, things would've turned out very differently.